Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
