WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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