Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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