I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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