His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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