quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
time to smoke my breakfast
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
