kristin has been a bad kristin
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize