so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
