It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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