I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Your cock deserves a montage
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
