eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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