Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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