My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
