I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
