Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just gift wrapped bread.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
