He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
