I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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