Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Drunk is not a location!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
