she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
