so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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