he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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