walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
