Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
