So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
