So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
