you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
