It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
