I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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