she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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