if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
