and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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