he thought i was a dude.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize