I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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