I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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