well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
