Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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