Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My hand turned me down
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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