dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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