so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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