Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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