suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
