when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
