I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
