we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
