just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sarcasm needs its own font
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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