Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
