My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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