I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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