I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
