Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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