What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
