I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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