FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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