I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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