Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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