After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just gift wrapped bread.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
