so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
