After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
