I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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